The next president: Do we want another smut like Pratibha Patil?

Have you all ever thought how the whole world thinks about who the president of our republic is? I am sure even the Pakistanis would also be rolling on the floor laughing, seeing what we have for a president, even though they have someone called Zardari to their credit.

We have given a weak and foolish face to our great defense forces. She has done no justice to the honourable chair which she has unfortunately occupied for the last five years.

 “Shouldn’t a President be entitled to even 260,000-square-feet post-retirement home (including building and fenced land)?” This was a poser from President Pratibha Patil’s son Rajendra Shekhawat.

The following are a few other extracts from IBN Live —

•  Pratibha Patil’s brother G N Patil had been charged with murdering a politician whose professor wife then accused Pratibha Patil of shielding the killer.

• Pratibha has spent Rs 205 crores on lavish overseas travels during her Presidency so far. This is the highest for any President.

What a poor replacement for missile man Dr Abdul Kalam, who is respected worldwide.

Do you realize how big a hole she has punctured into the exchequer just by her irritable flying habits? Ever? Once in last five years? While she is not even worthy enough to fly with one support staff, her regularly holiday around the globe with at least 90 of them, which includes 6 chefs, 2 bottlers, 4 housekeeping staffs and I don’t want to believe this one, one masseuse.

And by the way our madam President has just recently signed an enquiry privilege letter to ask our Apex court to come transparent on their 2G ruling so that people whom she cooked for four decades can have their priorities safeguarded. As a piece of questionnaire – Does she really understand what a privilege letter is all about or she just signs on anything that her masters order her to?

President of India grants mercy to convicts who raped pregnant woman and butchered her family. In the past 5 years she has commuted 35 death sentences to life imprisonments.

How long will Indians continue to tolerate corrupt, inefficient and greedy leaders? The president of India is the face of our nation to the world. Do we want a feeble, tainted and an incompetent slime as the head of the country? 

Now we really hope that a non political president like APJ Abdul Kalam or Narayana Murthy can only do some justice to this office which has become a laugh appointment.

YEDDY’S SEX SCANDEL!!!

 

 

Yeddy was involved in illegal sexual activity in jail and is now pregnant! 

Even he is shocked. That’s why he is complaining of chest pain! But the real reason for his admission in hospital is not the chest pain. Trusted sources have revealed the real problem.

He was admitted to the ICU of Jayadeva Hospital yesterday. He had high blood pressure and vomited a couple of times at about 0145 hrs, which prompted the jail authorities to rush him to hospital, sources said, adding his condition is stated to be stable.

Rumors are Mr. Advani was seen rushing out of the jail cell few minutes before Yeddi was found unconscious, naked and bloody! He was immediately given first aid and fluid (later identified as semen) on his body was wiped away. When Mr. Yeddi came around he was shocked to see himself in such condition. But before he could say a word he vomited twice. And when he tried to walk doctors saw his ass had swollen and he was not even able to walk properly.

The doctors tried to ask him what happened but he was reluctant to answer first but after some time he admitted his sexual relationship with Advani. He also said that Advani came only to talk. But the cell was small and they were sitting quite close. So the atmosphere got so intense and one thing led to another.

While talking he vomited again. Fearing ‘something’ he immediately asked for a pregnancy test strip and his worst fears came true! He lost his cool and right away called Mr. Advani.
A man heard their conversation. It went on like this “How could you do this to me” *pause* “But you said you’d use protection” *pause* “Now what!” *long pause* “So it’s over?”   

It seems that Advani and Yeddi have now broken up.

It was widely known that Advani had a soft corner for Yddi but no one in their wildest dreams could ever imagine something like this! But as they say love has no age!
Although this raises one more even more debatable question “How the hell could Advani get an hard-on in this age!”

For now Mr. Yeddi is in hospital on pretext of heart attack. What will happen to the child? Maybe he’s planning to have abortion done or give up his child for adoption. Only time will tell.

NEXT CHOICE AS PRIME MINISTER- MAYAWATI

Yes. My next choice is definitely MAYAWATI!!!

People who criticize her are missing the most important point. It is not as if Mayawati has done anything new. Every political leader in India is guilty of extravagant expenditure where it is not necessary at all.

Bottom-line is that she has invested on something for the entertainment of people (even though it is a very ‘dalit’ type)!  She has made a 700 Crore park this time. Who knows what she will make if she becomes the PM! Maybe a modern and hi-tech APPU-GHAR or an Indian version of Disney land! We can definitely do with one!

No one has ever undertaken any project so beneficial to citizens. India builds its useful otiose longest railway tunnel for 391 crores. This tunnel in all manners is a proud futile project that will unite divide India even more and strengthen weaken Indian defense. Imagine wasting such a huge amount of money in such unserviceable things!

 

Who the hell needs defense? The need of the hour is to make such economical parks with the sorcerous statues of Mayawati. These alone are sufficient to scare the shit out of the Chinese! I would be if I see them in my dreams!

So, let us not point fingers at Mayawati now. We should encourage her to deploy more statues at the border. 6 crore a statue is nothing when the national security comes. For the Chinese missiles we have Mayawati on her dangerous elephants! The dalit waste warrior of India!

On a serious note one thing for sure is we can’t do anything about it now! The only consolation we can give ourselves is that the hard earned money of people has been utilized in developing a park that will change the face of U.P!

Please someone flush this stinking piece of shit.  

LAST TIME IT WAS BABRI MASJID, WHAT WILL HE BREAK THIS TIME!

THE “YATRI” OF INDIA!

The old dog is not ready to quit yet! Advani​, high on 83, refusing to retire and still desperately seeking the PM’s chair, has started yet another rath yatra, although this time aimed at “good governance and clean politics”. The proclamation signaled bad omen for a lot of people in the party. It was all the more deadly because barring the viciously polarizing rath yatra preceding the Babri Masjid demolition, all his four rath yatras later have been superb box office flops. Besides, as BJP’s PM candidate in the 2009 polls, he led his party to a resounding defeat. 

Advani, who led his Hindu ultra nationalist party, BJP, to power on the wave of the cry to build a 'Ram Temple' at the site of the Babri Masjid and personally oversaw its demolition on 6 December 1992. 

Whereas in the 1980s, he promised “Ram Rajya” if the BJP came to power, his slogan today is the rather more secular promise of “good governance” and “clean politics”.

The yatra is being called "Jan Chetna yatra". Great, so Advaniji wants to tell the people that corruption is happening (in government by Congress) and people should vote BJP next time. It sounds like Advaniji is breaking this news to the people of this country! If he and his yatra is so serious about corruption than why he is not talking technically on how they will root out the corruption. We would like to hear the minute details of the project!

First thing we want to know is where the money for this Yarta is coming for. How much money have they spent and the sources as well. Secondly if they are spending more money, is it really worth or is it just a move for publicity that they want to use in coming elections.

In 1990s he broke the Barbri Masjid. Maybe this time he plans to break the record of longest rath yatra ever taken by a politician in scorching heat inside an air conditioned vehicle. This definitely shows that we need someone like him to understand the woes of nation by traveling nationwide on public expense!

DON’T GIVE HIM DEATH; HE WAS FUCKING BRAINWASHED LIKE A ROBOT!

Such a plea given by Kasab in court seems to be advised by the councilor of Kasab who is not only playing with the court but also making a big ‘Chutiya’ of 1,155,347,700 Indians.

The human right activists say “He is human and should not be killed. By killing him nothing will be achieved. He should be given life imprisonment and detained in India for what he has done." Fuck you all imbeciles. These fucking dickheads hide their despicable heads when peaceful protestors like Anna Hazare are arrested and start to twaddle about the right of some inhuman terrorists! Suckers!

The only reason why Kasab should have been kept alive was that he is the only evidence that ties the role of Pakistani establishment to 26/11. If he was gone, Pakistan would have dragged the case for eternity asking for more evidence (which it is anyways doing now!).
With America dragging itself away from 26/11 by delaying truth about Headley, Kasab was the only trump card India could have used against Pakistan.
But since Pakistan has again shown that he is a fucking asshole and will not mend its ways there is reason at all to feed this bloody bastard our parent’s hard earned money!

I will soon be a tax payer and so will be you all. If it takes another 10 years to hang Kasab then our Government will spend around Rs350 crore on his security, fooding and medical expenses. So I have to now mentally prepare that Government is going to get extra tax from my pocket from today till Kasab get hanged. And for what? To get my freaking head blown off someday by some other son of a bitch just like him!

MY SOLUTION:- Since our government comprises of all kind of old impotent arses, let’s pool in money, hire a contract killer & get this motherfucking Kasab killed before he eats up our money in high-profile security & biryani!

I somehow remembered Saudi Arabia which media and people say has a very harsh and cruel judiciary system. But they tend to overlook some good points. If they are bad then they are bad for all. They don’t differentiate between a Pakistani Muslim and an Indian Muslim nor do they differentiate between them and a non-Muslim. Point is they are and they have been consistent.

TO OUR GOVERNMENT:-
SHOW SOME FUCKING BALLS! DON’T PORTRAY US INFRONT OF THE WORLD AS IMPOTENT COWARDS WHO CAN’T EVEN GIVE THE DESERVED PUNISHMENT TO SOME COLD-BLODDED KILLER!

OUR INCOMPETENT POLITICIANS!

Another day, another blast, many more lives lost, another day of constant bickering on TV, another day for indignation and hopelessness. Where exactly are we going wrong in our war against terror?

What we hear #1: We strongly condemn the attacks.
Substitute with: We're tired of condemning attacks; if we don't come back to you with the justice that you, as citizens of this country, deserve after trusting us to protect you, we'll add another amendment to our constitution that makes it legally possible for you to remove the expensive security that we're granted with your hard-earned money every time we use the word 'condemn' after an attack.

What we hear #2: It is a cowardly act.
Substitute with: How do we know it's a cowardly attack? Because it takes one to know one.

What we hear #3: We will not succumb to terrorism.
Substitute with: We will make good on our promises and strengthen preemptive measures that will allow us to stop terror in its tracks and not subject you to the same old rinse-repeat routine you've been hearing from us for we don't know how long.

What we hear #4: This was a planned attack.
Substitute with: Instead of exchanging flirtatious couplets in a parliament session with opposition parties, we will actually plan and debate on what steps we need to take to strengthen security.

What we hear #5: We'd warned the (affected) state government of possible terror attacks.
Substitute with: We'll not try to wash our hands off what is essentially our collective responsibility and add insult to your injury. We'll consider such meaningless utterances a punishable crime henceforth.

What we hear #6: The government pledges X lakhs of rupees for bereaved families.
Substitute with: We will stop this cowardly act of putting a price on innocent lives lost for no fault of theirs. Instead, we'll establish a welfare fund for families affected by terror attacks that will be transparent and will support the families for as long as they need.

What we hear #7: There are no leads yet.
Substitute with: You know someone will 'claim' responsibility, right? We'll tell you when they do.

What we hear #8: We can't fight terror alone.
Substitute with: We can't fight terror. Period. Let's make way for those who can.

What we hear # 9: The perpetrators will be brought to book.
Substitute with: The perpetrators will be caught and will be accorded capital punishment. We will expedite capital punishment to convicted terrorists as a deterrent and to demonstrate zero tolerance to threats to National Security.

Any more you can think of????

WHY THE HELL CAN'T PRANAB MUKHERJEE BE PM OF INDIA!

Why should Manmohan Singh, down with his health problems and displaying no real political spark, continue as India's prime minister when it is Pranab Mukherjee who has been running the show so effectively? 

Is there anyone in Congress party who is half as capable as Pranab Mukherjee?

Pranab Mukherjee deserves the maximum credit for internationalizing the Mumbai attacks, for exposing Pakistan and calling its bluff again and again, for effectively isolating it. He deserves the main credit for pulling through the Indo - US nuclear deal. He is remarkably fit for his age and take the kind of workload that even people twenty years younger would not dare take. He heads the maximum number of government committees, cabinet committees? 

Pranab Mukherjee is erudite, down-to-earth political, a good if not a fiery orator and a great crisis manager. He can manage any major portfolio - Foreign, Finance, what have you. He is a true all-rounder, the Kapil Dev of Indian politics. None but Lal Krishna Advani showered him the highest of praises when he presented the interim budget. Mukherjee is the crucial link between the Indira-Rajv era and the contemporary world and that's something the Congress needs all the time. Its strength is its history and Mukherjee is the best link between the two eras. The Prime Minister must be an all-rounder, a good overall politician, capable of inspiring the nation in moments of crisis.

If anyone says he is inspired by Manmohan Singh, I would suggest the claimant be immediately put on a lie detector. Singh is a good soul but is the least inspiring of all Indian prime ministers. He is said to be great economist though where is the published evidence of his brilliance. 

Same for Chidambaram. He is already finding the Home portfolio a bit too tough for his liking. I would still have no cudgels with the Congress if they make Manmohan the Finance Minister and make Pranab Mukherjee the Prime Minister in recognition to his lifetime - and also his recent - achievements. If that does not happen, just because Mukherjee is not a yes-man and once revolted against Rajiv Gandhi, I have a serious problem. I don't want to raise the provincial issue but Sourav Ganguly's last years as captain and player and Pranab's last few years in government seems to bear a striking resemblance. There's strange conspiracy in the corridors to keep the most deserving man out of the top slot.